Divorce Support at Corrales Grief Spa: a Better Way to Say Goodbye

Ashley Dalton — Wed, 12 Aug 2026 02:34:21 +0000

Divorce doesn’t have to be a battle.
That may sound obvious, and yet the dominant cultural script for ending a marriage calls to mind attorneys, courtrooms, adversarial negotiation, and years of financial and emotional depletion. Divorce is often seen as a fight to be won or a process to survive.
There is a growing movement pushing back against this, and the research behind it is compelling. More importantly, there is a quieter, more human option that most couples never know exists, and it doesn’t require a courtroom, a mediator, or a legal team to access.

At Corrales Grief Spa at The Oasis in Corrales, New Mexico, Kristy offers a rare alternative: a warm, private, and supported space where couples navigating the end of a marriage can come together, with a charcuterie board, a soothing drink, and a skilled, neutral presence—to begin the work of separating with intention rather than injury.

The evidence on this is now clear and consistent. A 2024 longitudinal study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, tracking 2,050 families over 18 months, found that the quality of co-parenting cooperation—not marital status—was the single most powerful predictor of children’s outcomes after divorce. Children of parents who maintained cooperative, low-conflict relationships showed nearly identical gains in emotional regulation and wellbeing as children in intact families. Children of high-conflict parents, regardless of whether those parents were divorced or still married, showed increased anxiety, depression risk, and academic difficulty.
In other words: conflict is the problem. The divorce itself, handled well, does not have to be.

A 2024 systematic review examining co-parenting conflict and children’s mental health outcomes across multiple studies found that destructive parental conflict following divorce was a significant risk factor for a wide range of difficulties in children, including anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation, while interventions that reduced conflict between parents and enhanced parenting cooperation produced meaningful protective effects.

Separately, a 2024 meta-analysis published in Family Court Review, examining education programs for separating and divorcing parents across multiple studies, found consistent evidence that structured support for parents during separation improved parental wellbeing, reduced stress, and provided practical strategies for shielding children from harmful exposure to conflict.
The research converges on the same point: the moment of separation, and how it is handled, has consequences that extend far beyond the legal paperwork.

The Problem with the Adversarial Model

Contested litigation is designed for conflict. It places two parties on opposite sides of a table, each represented by an advocate whose job is to win, and asks them to resolve one of the most emotionally charged transitions of their lives in an environment ripe for combat.

The financial cost alone is significant. The emotional cost is harder to measure but arguably greater. The adversarial process tends to reinforce positions, amplify grievances, and make cooperative co-parenting, the thing the research most consistently identifies as protective for children, significantly harder to achieve afterward.

This is why alternative approaches have grown substantially. Settlement-focused processes, including both formal mediation and collaborative methods, have consistently demonstrated better outcomes: lower conflict, higher satisfaction, more durable agreements, and stronger post-divorce co-parenting relationships. The motivation to resolve is strong when both parties understand the stakes of the alternative, and when the process itself isn’t designed to pit them against each other.
But formal mediation and collaborative divorce, while valuable, still operate within legal and professional frameworks that some couples find intimidating, expensive, or simply not the right fit.

A Different Kind of Space

When a couple comes to The Oasis for an intentional divorce support session, they are not coming for legal advice, mediation, or therapy. Kristy is a holistic grief practitioner and divorce guide. What she offers is something those services rarely provide: a warm, unhurried, and private human space where the emotional reality of what is ending can be acknowledged and held before the logistics take over.

The afternoon might look like this: a beautifully set table, a setting designed for luxurious comfort, and Kristy as a calm, neutral, experienced presence. Not to advise, not to take sides, and not to manage the legal dimensions of separation, but to help two people who are about to become co-parents, or simply two people who once loved each other, find a way to talk that doesn’t have to begin with conflict.

Research on neutral third parties in high-conflict divorce situations consistently emphasizes that the most effective practitioners remain genuinely neutral, validate both parties equally, and create conditions for communication rather than directing its content. That is the spirit of Kristy’s practice.
For some couples, a session like this is a single afternoon that sets a different tone for everything that follows. For others, it becomes a series of conversations as they work through the practical and emotional dimensions of a shared life being carefully, intentionally, unmade.

The Grief That Lives Inside a Divorce

There is an important dimension worth naming here. Divorce is grief, documented, researched, and clinically significant grief, and it rarely gets treated as such in the adversarial legal process.
Research consistently shows that 60 to 70 percent of divorced individuals experience clinical symptoms of grief, including intrusive thoughts, sleep disruption, and profound disruption of identity. The loss of a marriage involves not just the loss of a person but the loss of a shared future, a family structure, and a version of oneself that existed within the relationship.
Sitting with that grief, rather than rushing past it or having it steamrolled by litigation, is part of what makes intentional separation possible.

Who This Is For

This offering is for couples who want to end their marriage with dignity intact, for parents who want their children to see that love, even when it changes form, can still be handled with care. It is for two people who recognize that how they say goodbye will shape what comes next — for themselves, for each other, and for everyone who depends on them.
It is not for every situation. Circumstances involving domestic violence, significant power imbalances, or contested legal matters require the involvement of appropriate legal and clinical professionals, and Kristy will always be direct about when this offering is and isn’t the right fit.

When it is the right fit, a series of supported intentional divorce sessions at Corrales Grief Spa is an invitation to approach one of life’s hardest transitions with the same care and intention you would bring to any other threshold worth crossing.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are intentional divorce support sessions?
They are private, supported sessions at Corrales Grief Spa at The Oasis in Corrales, New Mexico, where a couple navigating the end of a marriage can come together in a warm, neutral environment to begin the process of separating with intention and care. It is not legal mediation, therapy, or counseling. It is a human space for a human transition.

Is Kristy a licensed mediator or attorney?

No. Kristy is a holistic grief practitioner and ceremonialist with over thirty years of experience sitting with people in transition..
Who is this offering for?

It is for couples who want to approach the end of their marriage with dignity, care, and as little unnecessary conflict as possible, particularly those with children who want to lay a foundation for cooperative co-parenting.

What is a session like?

Sessions are held at The Oasis and vary depending on what a couple needs. They typically involve a warm, private setting with light refreshments, an unhurried pace, and Kristy’s presence as a neutral, supportive witness. Some couples come once, and others return for a series of conversations as they work through the dimensions of a shared life being intentionally brought to a close.
Can this happen virtually?

In some cases, yes. Reach out to Kristy directly to discuss what would work best for your situation.
How do we begin?

The first step is a conversation with Kristy to discuss your situation and whether this offering is the right fit. Reach out directly, and she will speak honestly about what she can and cannot offer, and help you find the right support for where you are.